This is Me

This is me Christmas Eve 2020, and until two days ago I was lying alone in Missouri feeling old, stupid, and completely unnecessary. Whereas until recently I had been feeling giddy, sexy & ALIVE but now? I feel HOLLOW, you see…..

I allowed myself to be enticed onto a chat site where my identity was stolen.

That led to five weeks of HELL which ended with the loss of my social media, phone, contacts, photos, email, Amazon, I-cloud, cable T.V., credit cards, and music & book libraries. Hard lesson.

But then I did a thing. I got up. I threw clothes in a suitcase, put two excited dogs in my car, and I headed south towards Mississippi.

Twelve hours later I pulled into the drive of a beautiful two-story Victorian one block off the beach in Gulfport Mississippi.

I hadn’t wanted to go, and so I had let my husband and son leave five days earlier. Because at the time, I just couldn’t bear the thought of facing the family.

But something a friend had said the day before sat heavily on my heart. She said, “Julie, I’ve known you since we were kids. You’ve always been the girl who could boldly admit, “Ya, that was me, I screwed up!

You’ve never run from a problem before, but this thing has changed you. You’re hiding!” That stung, like a slap in the face. Was I changed? Was I hiding? I had to admit, I was.

I hadn’t reached out to family or friends in almost a month. Of course, my kids and husband knew what was happening, and two of my BFF’s, but that was it. I didn’t want to speak to anyone else, and I didn’t really want to talk with them.

I was embarrassed and I felt ashamed. Because to be honest, the circumstances surrounding WHY I was in the chat room were humiliating.

I allowed myself to be lured onto an unsecured site, and BOOM, disaster. And everything was MY fault, and why had I done it? Who had I become? To be honest, I STILL DON’T KNOW!

Nevertheless , I swallowed my fear, came out of hiding and headed south. My husband was thrilled  I had come down, and truthfully, so was I.

*CHECK OUT THE WATER LEVEL LINE left by HURRICANE KATRINA, WOW!!

Being with Scott was just what I needed. He knows me better than anyone ever has, he is my best friend. And his family is pretty cool too. They like to play board games and sing Karaoke. When we’re together we laughA LOT.

It was Apollos & Athena’s first time at the beach. They LOVED IT! Walking on the beach has always been such a healing experience, but seeing those dogs frolicking on the shore brought a heightened level of joy to my heart

 

I only spent four days in Mississippi, but that was all I needed to reboot my life. And now, I’m READY.

Ready to forgive myself, to move forward, to restore peace within and radiate it outward. To be grateful in the small things, the everyday details, the tender mercies, and to NEVER again take my life for granted.

Because friends, upon closer reflection, my life is AMAZING! SO, HAPPY NEW YEARS! HERE’S TO US IN 2021!


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